Have you ever wondered if what you are doing is good and right? We have so many people that think we are crazy. But today I was watching Brian play with Fred and all was well with my soul. Even now I look over at Mary who is listening to classical music, resting on the couch. Javonta, who is singing the theme song to "Scooby Doo" and doing long division. So many people look at us and wonder, "what are you doing?" My answer: ask God, He has set the lonely in families and here we are in Africa living as a family.
Some missionaries come to Africa to endure great suffering. I think we have been sent here to relieve great suffering. Lol. All of us in some way have been rejected or bruised and here we are loving each other and others well. Feeding the hungry. Maybe tomorrow God will call us to suffer and when that tomorrow comes we will suffer together. As a family.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Monkey Bird Bed Rest
Ok so I'm stuck in bed waiting for my blood to regenerate lol and everyone is at church. There is a bird that sounds like a monkey trying to break into my room. And all I can think about is finding cream of wheat so I can feel better. it looks like a hawlk and sounds like a gibbon weird monkey bird!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Snaptshots: Interesting Sights and Sounds from Around the World
1) The Good Samaritan - A few weeks ago (mid-October) I walked out from my room into the main lobby at FDLM to see about 40 children tearing open a christmas gift. Perplexed by this evening extravaganza I probed as to the origin of these boxes. Emblazoned on the gift wrap of each gift was the logo "Samaritan's Purse." I had never been on the receiving end of such a venture before and immediately got excited for each of the children. Each child received a shoebox specially wrapped. Each shoe box contained a random assortment of various things the donor thought the child would like. Each box was denoted by age range and gender.
What was most fascinating was the children's response to much of what was inside of the boxes. One girl got an entire shoebox full of candy plus a giant tube of toothpaste and a toothbrush. Another child got school supplies. Javonta got a gift too - a giant Batman battle tank. Among the squeals of delight rose questions such as, "do I eat this?" and "Rachelann, what is this?" As darkness blanketed the land the children began retreating to their dorms to store their stashes. I was amuzed a bit later when out of the darkness came a strange swirling light coming towards me. As the light approached I realized it was a lightup twirling ballerina doll being used by a girl as a flashlight. Another interesting encounter was when one of the teenagers bit into a plastic necklace thinking it was candy. It is sure interesting to think about the cultural differences and about what people in different cultures enjoy or think others will enjoy. All and all it was an interesting experience to behold and the children ended up all happy and grateful by the day's end.
2) You want what??... In our new home our gardener, Moses, was preparing a charcoal stove. Lighting these suckers is always a challenge since it takes a lot of heat to set the charcoal ablaze. Moses asked us if we had any parafin as this would help light the charcoal. We wondered how parafin wax would help light charcoal since it is not flammable. Rachelann produced the candles and handed them to a confused Moses. He mentioned that it wouldn't work. We all just kind of stood there perplexed until Moses realized he wasn't going to get anywhere with us and went back to lighting the charcoal.
About one week later Javonta and Moses were in town and we called Moses and told him to pick up some parafin. 30 minutes later he and Javonta came walking in with a liter of some strange liquid. Javonta remarked that the parafin Moses was requesting was actually pure gasoline to use as ligher fluid. So in this case: Parafin = Gasoline.
What was most fascinating was the children's response to much of what was inside of the boxes. One girl got an entire shoebox full of candy plus a giant tube of toothpaste and a toothbrush. Another child got school supplies. Javonta got a gift too - a giant Batman battle tank. Among the squeals of delight rose questions such as, "do I eat this?" and "Rachelann, what is this?" As darkness blanketed the land the children began retreating to their dorms to store their stashes. I was amuzed a bit later when out of the darkness came a strange swirling light coming towards me. As the light approached I realized it was a lightup twirling ballerina doll being used by a girl as a flashlight. Another interesting encounter was when one of the teenagers bit into a plastic necklace thinking it was candy. It is sure interesting to think about the cultural differences and about what people in different cultures enjoy or think others will enjoy. All and all it was an interesting experience to behold and the children ended up all happy and grateful by the day's end.
2) You want what??... In our new home our gardener, Moses, was preparing a charcoal stove. Lighting these suckers is always a challenge since it takes a lot of heat to set the charcoal ablaze. Moses asked us if we had any parafin as this would help light the charcoal. We wondered how parafin wax would help light charcoal since it is not flammable. Rachelann produced the candles and handed them to a confused Moses. He mentioned that it wouldn't work. We all just kind of stood there perplexed until Moses realized he wasn't going to get anywhere with us and went back to lighting the charcoal.
About one week later Javonta and Moses were in town and we called Moses and told him to pick up some parafin. 30 minutes later he and Javonta came walking in with a liter of some strange liquid. Javonta remarked that the parafin Moses was requesting was actually pure gasoline to use as ligher fluid. So in this case: Parafin = Gasoline.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Update
These past few weeks have been pretty busy. I have not had much opportunity to blog extensively our process.
There are some pretty significant events that have taken place that I will describe shortly here.
First, Rachelann and I are no longer working for FDLM. After several meetings with the administration the management decided that our vision to serve God in Uganda would be better served if we were not under the formal leadership of FDLM. Our desire from the beginning was to come to FDLM as a transition point as we discerned how the Lord was to use us here in Uganda.
We have learned a lot from FDLM and are extremely thankful for all that they have provided for us. It was a good opportunity to see how an orphanage was run and to learn from those who have spent much of their lives giving them away to others.
Along with our movement out from FDLM has been our moving into a new house. Rachelann and I have been inquiring of the Lord as to what exactly He wants us to do with ourselves. Our heart is to use this house for the glory of God and to see what He does. We have begun networking with several strains of local missionaries and are trying to see how we can fit in.
A third development has been the fostering of five children. Many of our friends in the States are aware of Fred and Brian. They are two brothers left behind when their mother died. These two were living with two different relatives who were unable to fully support them. Consequently Fred is a 7 year old boy with HIV. He was despondant and was not fed adequately by the relative he was staying with. Brian was being cared for by his father. However, this "care" was not sufficient. When Rachelann first went to see him, he was found covered in feces and naked. His body looked like that of a four month old even though he physically was ten months old. For the past few months we have worked to bring these two into our care. As of about two weeks now, both boys are fully in our care.
Fred and Brian have two sisters. They were being cared for by FDLM after the mother died. By the grace of God, the girls have been released to us as well and are now also in our care. They are finishing up their last school term (which ends in mid-November) and then will be coming to live with us fully.
It is interesting to see what God is doing here. These past few months have flown by. So many things have been happening and we are barely knowing how it all worked out the way it did. But God has been working along the whole time. We are believing in Him and trusting Him to lead us in the way we should go. We are being stretched in ways we have not been. Our faith is being tested. Our hearts are being enlarged. God is moving fast. We are so blessed.
So that's a quick overall update without including many of the intimate details. As of right now we are trying to settle into this new house as we ask God for help and direction. Please pray for us.
There are some pretty significant events that have taken place that I will describe shortly here.
First, Rachelann and I are no longer working for FDLM. After several meetings with the administration the management decided that our vision to serve God in Uganda would be better served if we were not under the formal leadership of FDLM. Our desire from the beginning was to come to FDLM as a transition point as we discerned how the Lord was to use us here in Uganda.
We have learned a lot from FDLM and are extremely thankful for all that they have provided for us. It was a good opportunity to see how an orphanage was run and to learn from those who have spent much of their lives giving them away to others.
Along with our movement out from FDLM has been our moving into a new house. Rachelann and I have been inquiring of the Lord as to what exactly He wants us to do with ourselves. Our heart is to use this house for the glory of God and to see what He does. We have begun networking with several strains of local missionaries and are trying to see how we can fit in.
A third development has been the fostering of five children. Many of our friends in the States are aware of Fred and Brian. They are two brothers left behind when their mother died. These two were living with two different relatives who were unable to fully support them. Consequently Fred is a 7 year old boy with HIV. He was despondant and was not fed adequately by the relative he was staying with. Brian was being cared for by his father. However, this "care" was not sufficient. When Rachelann first went to see him, he was found covered in feces and naked. His body looked like that of a four month old even though he physically was ten months old. For the past few months we have worked to bring these two into our care. As of about two weeks now, both boys are fully in our care.
Fred and Brian have two sisters. They were being cared for by FDLM after the mother died. By the grace of God, the girls have been released to us as well and are now also in our care. They are finishing up their last school term (which ends in mid-November) and then will be coming to live with us fully.
It is interesting to see what God is doing here. These past few months have flown by. So many things have been happening and we are barely knowing how it all worked out the way it did. But God has been working along the whole time. We are believing in Him and trusting Him to lead us in the way we should go. We are being stretched in ways we have not been. Our faith is being tested. Our hearts are being enlarged. God is moving fast. We are so blessed.
So that's a quick overall update without including many of the intimate details. As of right now we are trying to settle into this new house as we ask God for help and direction. Please pray for us.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
In their eyes
I have spent the greater part of my Christian walk contending for the presence of God. Dancing in worship crying during prayer. Christ in us has a new meaning to me. It's like many windows into seeing God. I have often asked myself how can I love God without it becoming a performance. Like a duty. Last night I looked into the eyes of the ones I love and I saw Him. I held them close kissed there cheeks and knew that my love for the ones He loves captures His very heart. I have learned to love God in their eyes.
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Miracle of Fred
Some of you may have heard that we have been praying for and helping take care of a boy named Fred. Fred is the younger brother of 3 girls that reside at FDLM. He recently came down with Malaria and Typhoid. If you know anything about HIV you know that many people have died even of the common cold. Not Fred - Passion fruit juice, a full tummy, as much prayer as my mother's heart can muster and Fred is running and laughing.
So yesterday, Sunday, he showed up from church. The walk from his house is about 3 miles. He walked alone to come see his sisters. We received him with open arms juice and samosa. He ate more than me. We went into church and joined worship and intercession. The Holy Spirit entered the room so heavily that I could not stand. I was on my face weeping and God said, "pray for Fred." I looked around and couldn't find him. God said, "pray for Fred." So i told one of the children go find Fred. Fred walked in and i scooped him up and held him on my lap on the dirty ground and wept heavily over him while God moved in power. I have never felt the power of God in this way. Fred let me hold him for at least 30 minutes while I, in my heart, asked God to heal his body. God was saying, "He will live" and i was with my little faith saying "for how ever long he lives Lord I will take care of him."
God said, "Fred will live." It was like my head wasn't understanding my spirit. I wept and wept. And all of a sudden I was filled with such joy. Like my spirit knew he was healed. My mind was still arguing but my spirit was in full agreement with His healing. Fred was off playing and laughing and I sat amazed by God. I honestly don't know what happened yesterday. All I know is that I see a healthy happy boy. This week I'm going to take him to a clinic and get him tested for HIV. Either way Fred is His son, perfectly loved and known by the living God. Pray for Fred. Pray for my small belief. If I believe or not He is a healer!
Fred looking into Papa Ben's eyes.
Fred and Tiff 
Fred, Tiff and Javonta
Fred and Papa Ben Friday, September 25, 2009
A Night to Remember
Uganda does not produce enough energy to distribute fully to all of the country all of the time. Because of this, Ugandans who are priviledged enough to have electricity have become used to the rolling blackouts that routinely impact each neighborhood. For our particular case, we had been blessed with consistant electricity for four days straight! Usually it comes and goes every other day. By the end of the fourth day both Rachelann and I were discussing our blessing when the blessing ran out. As the daylight hours drained away, bleeding away the light with it, our land was soon covered in a thick blanket of inky blackness.
We had decided to cook fish that evening and we were able to eat our whole pieces of fish under the limited power reserves of our low on power flashlights. As we sat around our pot of fish to eat, all of our flashlights execpt our tiny cell phone flashlight faded away. Our conversation was light as we tried to feel the bones of the fish with our fingers and see what we were eating.
Ugandans clean their fish but they don't take the scales, head or tail off. Rachelann was enjoying her fish head. Part of this enjoyment included plucking out the eyeball and putting it close to Javonta's food which immediately evoked a very disturbed cry from the boy. Rachelann laughed. Not seeing what she was doing I asked her to explain. She told me what she had done. As I laughed she also added that she was working at "picking the face off the fish".
We finished our meal and cleaned up just before the last light went out, plummeting us into more darkness. My American eyes are not quite used to adjusting to the darkness as the Ugandans are. I'm actually pretty amazed at their night vision.
Anyway, it was a fun night. I ended up remembering that I had a mini-maglight stashed in the closet. I finally found it after a short search. I am really thankful for the good meal that we were blessed to eat. It was sooo good. Light or no light. I am still aiming to be joyful in all situations. To enjoy the blessing even when I am experiencing things that I am not overly comfortable with or used to. It was a good time. However, I am definitely much more appreciative of electricity that I was at home!
We had decided to cook fish that evening and we were able to eat our whole pieces of fish under the limited power reserves of our low on power flashlights. As we sat around our pot of fish to eat, all of our flashlights execpt our tiny cell phone flashlight faded away. Our conversation was light as we tried to feel the bones of the fish with our fingers and see what we were eating.
Ugandans clean their fish but they don't take the scales, head or tail off. Rachelann was enjoying her fish head. Part of this enjoyment included plucking out the eyeball and putting it close to Javonta's food which immediately evoked a very disturbed cry from the boy. Rachelann laughed. Not seeing what she was doing I asked her to explain. She told me what she had done. As I laughed she also added that she was working at "picking the face off the fish".
We finished our meal and cleaned up just before the last light went out, plummeting us into more darkness. My American eyes are not quite used to adjusting to the darkness as the Ugandans are. I'm actually pretty amazed at their night vision.
Anyway, it was a fun night. I ended up remembering that I had a mini-maglight stashed in the closet. I finally found it after a short search. I am really thankful for the good meal that we were blessed to eat. It was sooo good. Light or no light. I am still aiming to be joyful in all situations. To enjoy the blessing even when I am experiencing things that I am not overly comfortable with or used to. It was a good time. However, I am definitely much more appreciative of electricity that I was at home!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Next on Survivor...
Living in a base with the scout master for a Ugandan boyscout troop has its advantages. For Javonta, this advantage has landed him an open armed reception by the scout master (Chris) and his troop. Very soon Javonta will become an elite member of the Ugandan boyscouts. This upcoming December, Javonta (and I) will be joining the rest of the troop on a four day outing that involves a lot of hiking and lot of building. Some of the things we will be building will be a kitchen, a pit latrine and a dining room. The catch: this must all be done in the dark after about a four hour sleep.
This commando style regime has generated a not so small reaction from Javonta. He has been daydreaming aloud about this upcoming experience. Of his own volition he has taken to strapping one of our large hiker's backpacks to his body and heading out to the field outside our base to run laps and condition his body.
Between now and December, Javonta will be learning many different skills to prepare himself for this four day adventure. I am so proud of him. It seems that he has begun to get more comfortable with the way things are here in Africa. In fact, Rachelann was talking with her mom the other day and was asked if Javonta was ready to come home yet. His response? "No, not yet, I still have some things to do."
Go God!
This commando style regime has generated a not so small reaction from Javonta. He has been daydreaming aloud about this upcoming experience. Of his own volition he has taken to strapping one of our large hiker's backpacks to his body and heading out to the field outside our base to run laps and condition his body.
Between now and December, Javonta will be learning many different skills to prepare himself for this four day adventure. I am so proud of him. It seems that he has begun to get more comfortable with the way things are here in Africa. In fact, Rachelann was talking with her mom the other day and was asked if Javonta was ready to come home yet. His response? "No, not yet, I still have some things to do."
Go God!
Daring to Dream
We have been here in Uganda now for 5 weeks and 2 days. God is stirring our hearts and revealing to us possibilities for rooting ourselves more deeply in the community. About two miles from our current residence is a place called Peniel. Here is a mixture of farmland and the raw resources for the creative construction of a new family based foster care program. FDLM owns a good chunk of this territory. Up until recently, this creative construction has been put on a definite hold due to the unavailability of water. Past endeavors to build here have been derailed because of this reality. However, God has recently lifted this construction embargo and has opened the gateway to release the creative potential of this area. A water well (a.k.a. borehole) has been freshly installed and has brought with it both fresh water and fresh promise for this area.
Rachelann and I have begun to sow into this area the seeds of prayer to see what opportunities the Lord might have for us to either buy land near this area, or work with FDLM to help develop it. There are many possibilities that are afoot. Our current goal is to be given the priviledge to steward a portion of land for the construction of a place that we can call home. In this home we can be more intentional in blowing on the embers of family growth.
We are praying about the possibility of taking in additional children into our family circle. Living on the base makes family time a challenge due to the large number of responsibilites as well as the close proximity of our room to any person who has need. While great for anyone who needs us, this current living arrangement makes quality time challenging due to the frequent interruptions. So we are praying and asking the Lord what He might have for us.
Rachelann and I have begun to sow into this area the seeds of prayer to see what opportunities the Lord might have for us to either buy land near this area, or work with FDLM to help develop it. There are many possibilities that are afoot. Our current goal is to be given the priviledge to steward a portion of land for the construction of a place that we can call home. In this home we can be more intentional in blowing on the embers of family growth.
We are praying about the possibility of taking in additional children into our family circle. Living on the base makes family time a challenge due to the large number of responsibilites as well as the close proximity of our room to any person who has need. While great for anyone who needs us, this current living arrangement makes quality time challenging due to the frequent interruptions. So we are praying and asking the Lord what He might have for us.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Land ho
So today Javonta and I went on a journey with our friend and colleague Godfrey. We walked two miles up to Penniel. The site for the future children's homes. Right next to Penniel there is a 3 acre piece of beautiful land. I prayed walked the land. I can feel such peace up there. The bore hole is producing clean water and the farm is flourishing. We do need more rain. We are praying about purchasing land. We don't know everything God wants but this land feels so good. Pray for us. Even Javonta loves it. We walked home with Godfrey carrying 5 gallons of beautiful water. It's so yummy. He is strong!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Snaptshots: Interesting Sights and Sounds from Around the World
1) So we have been looking around the local market for Oatmeal. We went into an Indian supermarket just for fun one day to see what they had. We inquired of the shopkeeper if he had any oatmeal. His facial expression twisted into a very confused and bewildered one and finally responded, "no, but I have cat food in cans."
2) Today one of the school kids asked Rachelann for "a rubber." In America "a rubber" is a slang term for a condom. Rachelann probed further and asked for what he wanted the rubber for. "For school" came the reply. Aghast at this thought Rachelann said, "No way! I'm NOT giving you a rubber for school!" The child realized he wasn't getting his point across to this foreign person who seemed to not understand him. So he made a hand motion with his hand to try and demonstrate what he wanted. Rachelann realized she might have the wrong idea as to his request and finally asked him, "what's a rubber?" An older kid nearby piped up, "a pencil eraser for the back of the pencil."
2) Today one of the school kids asked Rachelann for "a rubber." In America "a rubber" is a slang term for a condom. Rachelann probed further and asked for what he wanted the rubber for. "For school" came the reply. Aghast at this thought Rachelann said, "No way! I'm NOT giving you a rubber for school!" The child realized he wasn't getting his point across to this foreign person who seemed to not understand him. So he made a hand motion with his hand to try and demonstrate what he wanted. Rachelann realized she might have the wrong idea as to his request and finally asked him, "what's a rubber?" An older kid nearby piped up, "a pencil eraser for the back of the pencil."
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Poverty Striken
It's been 5 weeks since we landed at Entebbe International Airport in Uganda Africa. Many foreigners travel to and from Uganda, all with various agendas. Perhaps this is the reason for why it has taken 5 weeks for my new friend Noah to let me into his heart.
"Ben, can we talk?" asked Noah a few days ago. Seeing the pain in his eyes, I quickly told him I wanted to hear what he had to say. "Sure" I responded, "Let's go for a walk". So out we went. We exited the base and walked along the pothole laden orange dirt road that wound its way through the verdant Ugandan rain forest. As we trudged along, it became evident that Noah had a tremendous weight on his heart.
Noah is the firstborn of ten siblings. Two years ago Noah's dad died. It happened as he was completing his final exams in secondary school. Suddenly, in a matter of seconds, his whole life changed. Here in Uganda, if the father dies or runs away, it is the eldest son's responsibility to care for his siblings and his mother. The mother, who spent everything she had on medical bills for her dying husband, now runs a small vegetable stand on a street in her village where she sells the produce from her garden. Noah was the only one who was able to finish secondary school. The rest of the children are awaiting sponsors to assist with their school fees since what little money the mother makes goes primarily to food or medical care for the children.
Noah has since come to work at FDLM and is now getting ready to go off to college with an all expense paid scholarship from the governmet. He leaves in two weeks. But amidst the joys of getting ready for college, his heart still carries the weight of his family. I can see the concern in his face. Noah is a man who loves deeply. He has not forgotten them, they are fresh in his mind. He tells me about how sometimes he will send his whole paycheck to his mom just to help them get by.
He is now approaching me looking for options. He has already managed to get his mother set up to receive $30 from an NGO when funds are available. But it's not enough. School fees alone for the children cost about $380 for all 9 of them to finish this next term. Then there are medical costs and food costs and school supplies costs....
I told Noah that we would have to pray for God's guidance since there isn't much we can do in our own right. But we can pray. I also suggested to him that we look for sponsors for the children or try to research various NGO's that have resources we have not yet tapped into. But Noah needs help for his family now. So we started praying and asking for God's help. And soon we will see what God does. Perhaps He will provide through sponsors for the children or perhaps He will network us with an NGO. Or perhaps this season He will have us wait. I don't know. But I do know He is faithful.
This story is a common one here in Uganda. Everyone is trying to make ends meet as well as try to help the next generation to have a better life than the generation before it. And so we will see what God has in mind. I have already been having internal dialogues with God about what exactly constitutes abundant living. Does a college degree secure this? I have many friends here who have gone through the rigors of higher education but now don't have jobs here in Uganda because the demand just simply isn't there. At the same time having a forward motivation to keep the mind encouraged and the heart passionate regarding bettering the livelihood of oneself and one's family is a good thing. But just how high of a standard of living does one need to be content? I know many Americans who are still unsettled on this question. However, having a good meal for your family daily and being able to care for each other when a family member is sick are all good things.
The Word of God says, "for the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" (Rom 14:17). What if our standard of living isn't based on what we have but on our levels of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit?
Noah and I pray around this verse as we finish our walk together. Our hearts are to be filled with the good things of God and to have His abundance. At the same time, we see our friends and families in need. Noah's family is still struggling, despite being filled. But maybe being filled with the fullness of God is enough. Maybe God will provide the rest, just like He says in Matthew 6:33 - "Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you as well." In the meantime we pray that God will give us wisdom and leads us in the way we should go, with an undivided and a thankful heart that is full of praise and full of joy.
Come Lord Jesus come!
"Ben, can we talk?" asked Noah a few days ago. Seeing the pain in his eyes, I quickly told him I wanted to hear what he had to say. "Sure" I responded, "Let's go for a walk". So out we went. We exited the base and walked along the pothole laden orange dirt road that wound its way through the verdant Ugandan rain forest. As we trudged along, it became evident that Noah had a tremendous weight on his heart.
Noah is the firstborn of ten siblings. Two years ago Noah's dad died. It happened as he was completing his final exams in secondary school. Suddenly, in a matter of seconds, his whole life changed. Here in Uganda, if the father dies or runs away, it is the eldest son's responsibility to care for his siblings and his mother. The mother, who spent everything she had on medical bills for her dying husband, now runs a small vegetable stand on a street in her village where she sells the produce from her garden. Noah was the only one who was able to finish secondary school. The rest of the children are awaiting sponsors to assist with their school fees since what little money the mother makes goes primarily to food or medical care for the children.
Noah has since come to work at FDLM and is now getting ready to go off to college with an all expense paid scholarship from the governmet. He leaves in two weeks. But amidst the joys of getting ready for college, his heart still carries the weight of his family. I can see the concern in his face. Noah is a man who loves deeply. He has not forgotten them, they are fresh in his mind. He tells me about how sometimes he will send his whole paycheck to his mom just to help them get by.
He is now approaching me looking for options. He has already managed to get his mother set up to receive $30 from an NGO when funds are available. But it's not enough. School fees alone for the children cost about $380 for all 9 of them to finish this next term. Then there are medical costs and food costs and school supplies costs....
I told Noah that we would have to pray for God's guidance since there isn't much we can do in our own right. But we can pray. I also suggested to him that we look for sponsors for the children or try to research various NGO's that have resources we have not yet tapped into. But Noah needs help for his family now. So we started praying and asking for God's help. And soon we will see what God does. Perhaps He will provide through sponsors for the children or perhaps He will network us with an NGO. Or perhaps this season He will have us wait. I don't know. But I do know He is faithful.
This story is a common one here in Uganda. Everyone is trying to make ends meet as well as try to help the next generation to have a better life than the generation before it. And so we will see what God has in mind. I have already been having internal dialogues with God about what exactly constitutes abundant living. Does a college degree secure this? I have many friends here who have gone through the rigors of higher education but now don't have jobs here in Uganda because the demand just simply isn't there. At the same time having a forward motivation to keep the mind encouraged and the heart passionate regarding bettering the livelihood of oneself and one's family is a good thing. But just how high of a standard of living does one need to be content? I know many Americans who are still unsettled on this question. However, having a good meal for your family daily and being able to care for each other when a family member is sick are all good things.
The Word of God says, "for the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" (Rom 14:17). What if our standard of living isn't based on what we have but on our levels of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit?
Noah and I pray around this verse as we finish our walk together. Our hearts are to be filled with the good things of God and to have His abundance. At the same time, we see our friends and families in need. Noah's family is still struggling, despite being filled. But maybe being filled with the fullness of God is enough. Maybe God will provide the rest, just like He says in Matthew 6:33 - "Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you as well." In the meantime we pray that God will give us wisdom and leads us in the way we should go, with an undivided and a thankful heart that is full of praise and full of joy.
Come Lord Jesus come!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
His store house of Food
LOL ok today i spent 3 hrs in the Jinja Market in a maze of African delight. Lucky for me God placed a woman who has called me daughter and I her mama. She was Sara Zijjan's mom. In the right place at the right time, she took me around to everyone and showed me where to shop and the prices for everything. We bought food for 60 people for one week. When we got back the children saw the food and started to praise God!
In heaven He has a store house of food today HE LET US IN. They all went to bed full of Him and full of food! Praise GOD!
In heaven He has a store house of food today HE LET US IN. They all went to bed full of Him and full of food! Praise GOD!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Life in Africa
Well. We are here and I know you have heard a lot from Ben and little from me so i will try and fill you in.
I'll start with Rebecca (auntie Naka) to the children. She is black as night and as pungent as I have ever smelt. Her smile is bright white and when she says my name she glows love. She is my matron she does my laundry. For $3.oo US a week. she cleans my clothes. They are cleaner than ever. She is amazing she has 7 children the youngest being twins Viva and Destiny. She nurses all day while washing laundry. Her older daughter Rachel helps tend the children. Rebecca is a good mama. She is a good friend.
I have 41 extra children with Javonta 42. And I love them all. When i see them cry I cry when I see them laugh I laugh. I believe in what they say they want and am inspiring them to see them selves in His image.
There is a girl named Hannah she is so beautiful she is soft spoken simple really. I asked her what she wants with her life. She wants to be a judge. It takes a lot of work here to pass an exam to get into law school and Hannah isn't doing well in school she tries so hard. So I'm praying that she gains a wisdom that is from Him and that if she is to be a judge that He makes all things possible.
I love what He is doing in me. I thought I knew how to be loved but ever day He shows me more.
There is a little boy maybe 8 named Boaz. Hard as a rock . Yesterday I looked out my window he was pretending to be a goat. I bleated back threw the window and He smiled "Ello Aunt Rachel!" and he crowed like a rooster. He is letting me in. Slowly but surely .
2 days after we arrived a woman in the neighborhood died of AIDS. Three of her daughters live here. Beatrice,Mary and Jane. The sound of grief coming from them caused my entire heart to move. In Africa hugging is a sign of happiness so we were told not to hug them. LOL I did it anyway. Mary needed holding the most. The middle child. I held her so close - this 14 year old girl lost in grief that I could literally feel her pain. We cried together. I walked all 41 children up the hill to visit the body and the family. One by one we piled into a small hut where the body lay on the ground the children and i surrounded the lifeless woman and an adult came and uncovered her. It was awful. The children started to pray all of them in the Spirit out loud the Holy Spirit filled the room. The spirit was so thick I could feel Him on my bare skin. The entire mass of children began to weep. It was the most beautiful thing i have ever seen. I held the girls and rocked and rocked. I am now there mama. Mary especially she watches my every move and makes sure I am close by. Betrice is still heavily mourning and is coming to me for comfort. Jane, the youngest, is full of Joy. God is truly Amazing.
I'll start with Rebecca (auntie Naka) to the children. She is black as night and as pungent as I have ever smelt. Her smile is bright white and when she says my name she glows love. She is my matron she does my laundry. For $3.oo US a week. she cleans my clothes. They are cleaner than ever. She is amazing she has 7 children the youngest being twins Viva and Destiny. She nurses all day while washing laundry. Her older daughter Rachel helps tend the children. Rebecca is a good mama. She is a good friend.
I have 41 extra children with Javonta 42. And I love them all. When i see them cry I cry when I see them laugh I laugh. I believe in what they say they want and am inspiring them to see them selves in His image.
There is a girl named Hannah she is so beautiful she is soft spoken simple really. I asked her what she wants with her life. She wants to be a judge. It takes a lot of work here to pass an exam to get into law school and Hannah isn't doing well in school she tries so hard. So I'm praying that she gains a wisdom that is from Him and that if she is to be a judge that He makes all things possible.
I love what He is doing in me. I thought I knew how to be loved but ever day He shows me more.
There is a little boy maybe 8 named Boaz. Hard as a rock . Yesterday I looked out my window he was pretending to be a goat. I bleated back threw the window and He smiled "Ello Aunt Rachel!" and he crowed like a rooster. He is letting me in. Slowly but surely .
2 days after we arrived a woman in the neighborhood died of AIDS. Three of her daughters live here. Beatrice,Mary and Jane. The sound of grief coming from them caused my entire heart to move. In Africa hugging is a sign of happiness so we were told not to hug them. LOL I did it anyway. Mary needed holding the most. The middle child. I held her so close - this 14 year old girl lost in grief that I could literally feel her pain. We cried together. I walked all 41 children up the hill to visit the body and the family. One by one we piled into a small hut where the body lay on the ground the children and i surrounded the lifeless woman and an adult came and uncovered her. It was awful. The children started to pray all of them in the Spirit out loud the Holy Spirit filled the room. The spirit was so thick I could feel Him on my bare skin. The entire mass of children began to weep. It was the most beautiful thing i have ever seen. I held the girls and rocked and rocked. I am now there mama. Mary especially she watches my every move and makes sure I am close by. Betrice is still heavily mourning and is coming to me for comfort. Jane, the youngest, is full of Joy. God is truly Amazing.
Shopping Nightmare
Today I have been given a great gift. My friend is allowing me to use his wireless internet card OVERNIGHT! I am so blessed! The main reason for the long time gap between posts is my limited access to the internet. I have been writing blogs off and on over the past week but have just been given the possibility of posting them today. :) I love copy and paste!
Anyway, I want to share an experience I had at an American style shopping center in Kampala. Rachelann and I had needed to stop by a higher end shopping mall to purchase some things (like phones) and some other things that could not be easily purchased in Jinja. As it turns out this shopping center (which will remain nameless) was so "Western" that walking into it gave the illusion of walking into a Wal-mart.
So I walk over to the electronics section and send Javonta off to look at Playstation 2 games while I peruse the phone selections. I was surprised to see all the phones locked behind a glass case with only a small sign next to each one that gave a vague description of each phone. This wasn't such a big problem for me since I figured that I was in Africa and I had to shift my expectations of retail venues. This shifting of expectations however was tested to the extreme however when I encountered the retail sales clerk.
After looking at the phones I turned around and made my way to the customer service desk. There was one lady there, she looked like a young adult. She was clearly tired and clearly did not want me asking her any questions. She never greeted me and when I asked her a question about the phone, she rolled her eyes. Okay, she's tired... so what... get over it. Well okay, yeah, but then what happens is even more interesting. I ask her if I could see one of the phones so I can look at it and perhaps even see the box it comes in so I can read the technical specs for the phone. The sales clerk quickly tells me that this is not possible and that I must BUY the phone I think I want and that she would go in the back to retrieve it. She continued to explain that once she had retrieved the phone I could look at it and then if I didn't like it she would refund me the money right there on the spot.
My problem however was that I wanted to look at more than one phone and I also thought that even though she was tired, it would be a bigger inconvenience for her to have to run back and forth to get different phones. I tried to explain this to her but was met with a look that communicated "stupid foreigner, just follow the policy and then leave me alone."
So I complied. I bought the phone with only seeing it in the glass case. She went in the back and brought it out. I opened the box and began reading the technical specs. After about thirty seconds, the girl's manager who was now standing next to us spoke something in Luganda to my friend and translator. Asking for the translation, my translator quickly replied - "hurry up". I sighed and finished my looking. In the meantime I noticed that the sales clerk had gotten impatient and tired of my apparent stalling and put her head down on her hands while she waited. I decided to go ahead and take it as well as two more phones to which the sales clerk looked like she wanted to kill me for suggesting such a seemingly difficult task. She went in the back and brought out two more phones.
At no point during our exchange did she smile, greet me or even thank me for doing business. When I asked her if the phone was a good one, she said it was. I then asked her if she had ever owned this phone or knew anyone who had. She said no. So much for consumer reports.
My translator then told me that we needed to buy SIM cards to make the phones work. I asked the clerk for SIM cards and she said that they were sold at the other end of the electronics department. I turned just in time to see the two clerks who ran that section of the department on their way out the door. I called out to them that I wanted to buy SIM cards but they said they were leaving because they were tired. I turned and asked the impatient clerk what time they closed. She said 8. I noticed the time was 7.
Now I worked at Home Depot for eight years. We were constantly taught to employ excellent customer service. Had any of us acted like this we would have been fired immediately. Now I have been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. She is working in a westernized shopping environment and the westerners who shop didn't seem all too friendly this particular night. Maybe they give her crap all the time and so she is just burned out and sick of it. Maybe her home life sucks. I don't know and I really don't want to make excuses for her. I just know that my attempt at "love your neighbor" was greatly stretched.
But it was also a great learning opportunity for me as well since I can't control my circumstances. I need to be able to love everyone in whatever process they are in. And by the grace of God, I will. I forgave her quickly and I am now able to laugh at this situation. It is pretty funny when I look back on it. But this type of customer service seems to be the norm here in Uganda. In many other retail environments, many of the Ugandans I have met don't seem to be focused on "customer's first." I am still learning to shift my expectations regarding Uganda. I have a lot of "should be like X" conversations in my mind, especially about something that was so ingrained into me from a business point of view.
But, live and learn. We did end up getting what we needed. Even though prices here are considerably higher, I did learn that I can get most anything here in the capital city.
Anyway, I want to share an experience I had at an American style shopping center in Kampala. Rachelann and I had needed to stop by a higher end shopping mall to purchase some things (like phones) and some other things that could not be easily purchased in Jinja. As it turns out this shopping center (which will remain nameless) was so "Western" that walking into it gave the illusion of walking into a Wal-mart.
So I walk over to the electronics section and send Javonta off to look at Playstation 2 games while I peruse the phone selections. I was surprised to see all the phones locked behind a glass case with only a small sign next to each one that gave a vague description of each phone. This wasn't such a big problem for me since I figured that I was in Africa and I had to shift my expectations of retail venues. This shifting of expectations however was tested to the extreme however when I encountered the retail sales clerk.
After looking at the phones I turned around and made my way to the customer service desk. There was one lady there, she looked like a young adult. She was clearly tired and clearly did not want me asking her any questions. She never greeted me and when I asked her a question about the phone, she rolled her eyes. Okay, she's tired... so what... get over it. Well okay, yeah, but then what happens is even more interesting. I ask her if I could see one of the phones so I can look at it and perhaps even see the box it comes in so I can read the technical specs for the phone. The sales clerk quickly tells me that this is not possible and that I must BUY the phone I think I want and that she would go in the back to retrieve it. She continued to explain that once she had retrieved the phone I could look at it and then if I didn't like it she would refund me the money right there on the spot.
My problem however was that I wanted to look at more than one phone and I also thought that even though she was tired, it would be a bigger inconvenience for her to have to run back and forth to get different phones. I tried to explain this to her but was met with a look that communicated "stupid foreigner, just follow the policy and then leave me alone."
So I complied. I bought the phone with only seeing it in the glass case. She went in the back and brought it out. I opened the box and began reading the technical specs. After about thirty seconds, the girl's manager who was now standing next to us spoke something in Luganda to my friend and translator. Asking for the translation, my translator quickly replied - "hurry up". I sighed and finished my looking. In the meantime I noticed that the sales clerk had gotten impatient and tired of my apparent stalling and put her head down on her hands while she waited. I decided to go ahead and take it as well as two more phones to which the sales clerk looked like she wanted to kill me for suggesting such a seemingly difficult task. She went in the back and brought out two more phones.
At no point during our exchange did she smile, greet me or even thank me for doing business. When I asked her if the phone was a good one, she said it was. I then asked her if she had ever owned this phone or knew anyone who had. She said no. So much for consumer reports.
My translator then told me that we needed to buy SIM cards to make the phones work. I asked the clerk for SIM cards and she said that they were sold at the other end of the electronics department. I turned just in time to see the two clerks who ran that section of the department on their way out the door. I called out to them that I wanted to buy SIM cards but they said they were leaving because they were tired. I turned and asked the impatient clerk what time they closed. She said 8. I noticed the time was 7.
Now I worked at Home Depot for eight years. We were constantly taught to employ excellent customer service. Had any of us acted like this we would have been fired immediately. Now I have been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. She is working in a westernized shopping environment and the westerners who shop didn't seem all too friendly this particular night. Maybe they give her crap all the time and so she is just burned out and sick of it. Maybe her home life sucks. I don't know and I really don't want to make excuses for her. I just know that my attempt at "love your neighbor" was greatly stretched.
But it was also a great learning opportunity for me as well since I can't control my circumstances. I need to be able to love everyone in whatever process they are in. And by the grace of God, I will. I forgave her quickly and I am now able to laugh at this situation. It is pretty funny when I look back on it. But this type of customer service seems to be the norm here in Uganda. In many other retail environments, many of the Ugandans I have met don't seem to be focused on "customer's first." I am still learning to shift my expectations regarding Uganda. I have a lot of "should be like X" conversations in my mind, especially about something that was so ingrained into me from a business point of view.
But, live and learn. We did end up getting what we needed. Even though prices here are considerably higher, I did learn that I can get most anything here in the capital city.
Snapshots - Interesting sights and sounds from around the world.
1) Ben to Javonta: how big was that termite hill you saw? Javonta to Ben: Oh about the size of a medium size banana tree.
2) Advertisement: “Give your cooking the Midas touch!”. (In America, Midas is an automobile repair shop).
3) Rachelann and I were in the van driving home from Entebbe. We had driven a man to the airport to get his fiancé. At some point in the darkness on the way home we dropped him off in the middle of nowhere. He turns to Rachelann, thankful for the evening’s conversation and asks, “Do you have facebook?”.
4) I was in church on Sunday and saw that the Ugandans had set up a sound system. During one of the worship songs I glanced over at the drummer and noticed that he was playing an electronic trap set. The interesting part was that the trap set was sitting on top of a large African bass drum that was now being used as a stand.
2) Advertisement: “Give your cooking the Midas touch!”. (In America, Midas is an automobile repair shop).
3) Rachelann and I were in the van driving home from Entebbe. We had driven a man to the airport to get his fiancé. At some point in the darkness on the way home we dropped him off in the middle of nowhere. He turns to Rachelann, thankful for the evening’s conversation and asks, “Do you have facebook?”.
4) I was in church on Sunday and saw that the Ugandans had set up a sound system. During one of the worship songs I glanced over at the drummer and noticed that he was playing an electronic trap set. The interesting part was that the trap set was sitting on top of a large African bass drum that was now being used as a stand.
Building a House
When David told me that the team would be building a house a woman in our community, I jumped at the chance to help. I had been in Uganda only about one week at this point and was looking for opportunities to get to know the Ugandan men as well as interact with the team some.
We were driven to the site and were told about why we were there. The goal was to create a house for a mother and her two children in our community. The mother had no other place to go and David impressed on us the importance of taking care of each other. Instead of having two children go to orphanages due to the inability for parental care, they would be able to remain in the community as well as be taken care of by their mother.
We were given hoes, pick axes, shovels and gloves. There were a few Ugandan engineers on site and they helped us lay out the measure for the foundation. Each of us took turns evicting the clay baked Ugandan soil from its home. We dug down about two feet.
As this process was underway, several of us walked about fifteen minutes downhill to a water tap. At this water tap were many children filling up 20 liter Jeri cans with water who would then carry them home for their family to use. The water was clean of debris and looked clear. However we could not drink it due to the presence of typhoid. Some of the children were drinking the water. We were told that this was okay since their immunities had built up enough to allow them to effectively fight off the typhoid bacteria.
We filled up the Jeri cans and then struggled to carry them by hand back uphill to the construction site. I was humbled many times as children perhaps four or five years of age walked past me with their Jeri cans in hand with no huffing or puffing. I tried to be a stud and took two. However, I quickly found out that I was not able to manage them. I was thankful for one of the children who had come with us. He must have been eleven or twelve. He picked up both and carried them for a bit up the path. He then set them down and I then let out a sigh as it was my turn to carry them. We alternated this way until we got back to the site. To be perfectly honest, he probably carried them 2/3 of the way while I only huffed them about 1/3 of the way. Quite the trip.
Those who had stayed behind had not been lazy. Four enormous piles of bricks towered each of the corners of the freshly dug trench. I also noticed that a dump truck had come and dumped a large pile of sand nearby. A wheelbarrow was quickly brought and sand was shoveled inside. I walked over to the wheelbarrow and proceeded to deliver seven large bucketfuls of sand to a clear spot on the ground. One bag of cement was added as well as the water. Two of the Ugandans grabbed hoes and began to work the water into the sand and cement, creating freshly made concrete.
The freshly made mortar was shoveled into trays by some of our children and others then began taking the mortar to the brick layers. Other people were taking bricks and making sure that the brick layers had the bricks handy. We worked throughout the day and finished the foundation as well as the four corners of the house. The following day we made more concrete and finished the walls as well as installed the doors and windows.
The third and final day, the team wasn’t available so the Ugandans and I went back and spent the day finishing the roof. It was a lot of work. We framed it out and then nailed metal sheathing onto it. Some of the others with us made concrete for the floor. This involved mixing large stones into mortar. It looked like a lot of work. I was too busy helping make the roof to help with the poured concrete floor. It looked like a lot of work and I was actually thankful that I didn’t have to do it. The children who helped us worked very hard too. Many of them worked without shoes.
As I was reflecting on child labor, I realized how much of a blessing this work was to them as it was to us. The children are learning valuable skills that will aid them in getting jobs as the grow older. It also builds their muscle, their work ethic and their knowledge of the building process. It was interesting to see how the Ugandans all worked together. Each one was looking out for the other. There was no competing or boasting of one over another. I have never before seen children be so respectful of adults or so hardworking. I didn’t hear any complaining at all. Of course, it is not in Ugandan culture to complain. The could have been complaining inwardly, but I didn’t know it. But from the looks on their faces, they looked as if they were enjoying the process. I also noted that the children seemed to know what to do better than we did. They acted like they had done it before. Indeed there are lots of opportunities to help out.
Speaking of children, Javonta came one of the days and helped out. He worked his butt off and didn’t complain one bit either. He helped mix the mortar as well as dig the trench and carry water. He said that he enjoyed his experience and was thankful for having gone. I was impressed by the amount of work he put forth. Javonta has really manned up quite a bit since arriving here. I think he sees just how good he has it. All of the other children on the FDLM base have chores to do and they all share a room. Javonta has his own room and hasn’t had to engage in the chore regime as of yet. Javonta has been engaging the other children and staff in conversation and has been going in and around the base on his own off and on to play with them. The Ugandan children are extremely outgoing and have been very committed to loving Javonta. Some of them had even asked my why Javonta was so quiet. At the time we had just gotten there and Javonta was struggling with a mighty bout of jet lag. It was interesting to see the concern these children had for getting to know Javonta. He has since opened up a bit and is letting them in. He loves to wrestle with them and they definitely love to wrestle him. As I write this, Javonta is actually out with one of the staff members monkey hunting. He had wanted to go before with a bow and arrow he had bought in Jinja. But since shooting monkeys with bows and arrows is ILLEGAL, we told him that he could only go monkey sighting. I’m sure he will have an interesting story to tell when he gets back.
We were driven to the site and were told about why we were there. The goal was to create a house for a mother and her two children in our community. The mother had no other place to go and David impressed on us the importance of taking care of each other. Instead of having two children go to orphanages due to the inability for parental care, they would be able to remain in the community as well as be taken care of by their mother.
We were given hoes, pick axes, shovels and gloves. There were a few Ugandan engineers on site and they helped us lay out the measure for the foundation. Each of us took turns evicting the clay baked Ugandan soil from its home. We dug down about two feet.
As this process was underway, several of us walked about fifteen minutes downhill to a water tap. At this water tap were many children filling up 20 liter Jeri cans with water who would then carry them home for their family to use. The water was clean of debris and looked clear. However we could not drink it due to the presence of typhoid. Some of the children were drinking the water. We were told that this was okay since their immunities had built up enough to allow them to effectively fight off the typhoid bacteria.
We filled up the Jeri cans and then struggled to carry them by hand back uphill to the construction site. I was humbled many times as children perhaps four or five years of age walked past me with their Jeri cans in hand with no huffing or puffing. I tried to be a stud and took two. However, I quickly found out that I was not able to manage them. I was thankful for one of the children who had come with us. He must have been eleven or twelve. He picked up both and carried them for a bit up the path. He then set them down and I then let out a sigh as it was my turn to carry them. We alternated this way until we got back to the site. To be perfectly honest, he probably carried them 2/3 of the way while I only huffed them about 1/3 of the way. Quite the trip.
Those who had stayed behind had not been lazy. Four enormous piles of bricks towered each of the corners of the freshly dug trench. I also noticed that a dump truck had come and dumped a large pile of sand nearby. A wheelbarrow was quickly brought and sand was shoveled inside. I walked over to the wheelbarrow and proceeded to deliver seven large bucketfuls of sand to a clear spot on the ground. One bag of cement was added as well as the water. Two of the Ugandans grabbed hoes and began to work the water into the sand and cement, creating freshly made concrete.
The freshly made mortar was shoveled into trays by some of our children and others then began taking the mortar to the brick layers. Other people were taking bricks and making sure that the brick layers had the bricks handy. We worked throughout the day and finished the foundation as well as the four corners of the house. The following day we made more concrete and finished the walls as well as installed the doors and windows.
The third and final day, the team wasn’t available so the Ugandans and I went back and spent the day finishing the roof. It was a lot of work. We framed it out and then nailed metal sheathing onto it. Some of the others with us made concrete for the floor. This involved mixing large stones into mortar. It looked like a lot of work. I was too busy helping make the roof to help with the poured concrete floor. It looked like a lot of work and I was actually thankful that I didn’t have to do it. The children who helped us worked very hard too. Many of them worked without shoes.
As I was reflecting on child labor, I realized how much of a blessing this work was to them as it was to us. The children are learning valuable skills that will aid them in getting jobs as the grow older. It also builds their muscle, their work ethic and their knowledge of the building process. It was interesting to see how the Ugandans all worked together. Each one was looking out for the other. There was no competing or boasting of one over another. I have never before seen children be so respectful of adults or so hardworking. I didn’t hear any complaining at all. Of course, it is not in Ugandan culture to complain. The could have been complaining inwardly, but I didn’t know it. But from the looks on their faces, they looked as if they were enjoying the process. I also noted that the children seemed to know what to do better than we did. They acted like they had done it before. Indeed there are lots of opportunities to help out.
Speaking of children, Javonta came one of the days and helped out. He worked his butt off and didn’t complain one bit either. He helped mix the mortar as well as dig the trench and carry water. He said that he enjoyed his experience and was thankful for having gone. I was impressed by the amount of work he put forth. Javonta has really manned up quite a bit since arriving here. I think he sees just how good he has it. All of the other children on the FDLM base have chores to do and they all share a room. Javonta has his own room and hasn’t had to engage in the chore regime as of yet. Javonta has been engaging the other children and staff in conversation and has been going in and around the base on his own off and on to play with them. The Ugandan children are extremely outgoing and have been very committed to loving Javonta. Some of them had even asked my why Javonta was so quiet. At the time we had just gotten there and Javonta was struggling with a mighty bout of jet lag. It was interesting to see the concern these children had for getting to know Javonta. He has since opened up a bit and is letting them in. He loves to wrestle with them and they definitely love to wrestle him. As I write this, Javonta is actually out with one of the staff members monkey hunting. He had wanted to go before with a bow and arrow he had bought in Jinja. But since shooting monkeys with bows and arrows is ILLEGAL, we told him that he could only go monkey sighting. I’m sure he will have an interesting story to tell when he gets back.
Updates and Reflections
Today half of our children are gone on holiday. The remaining children and I just got done wrestling in the church. It is a big church with a large open space. For Sunday service the children bring loads of plastic chairs and set them up in the church. Today however the space was empty. Javonta and I fought off about twelve children of different ages. They would team up and try to pull us down. Finally my body gave way and I fell down amidst many cheers and much laughter. I got up and laughed a bit myself as I congratulated them on their excellent teamwork. I had taken them all down innumerable times and is was high time that I was defeated. Later that afternoon Rachelann told me that she had seen some of the girls come from the church breathing heavily and sporting big smiles. She told me that when she had asked them what had happened they replied, “Uncle Ben!”.
The girls were far much stronger than the boys. This is probably because the amount of work the girls do is simply amazing. I have been shocked many times as I have witnessed the quantity of tasks that are completed by the children before 7am. The kids get up at 5:45am every morning and do their chores before breakfast. This early wakeup call is sounded by the rooster who alerts us sleepy folks that it is time to get up for another great day. Of course I should mention that during summer break, the children usually stay up until about 11pm each night to do devotions. But they still have full energy and laughter each day.
I am really having fun getting to know these children. Many of them have been asking me to teach them something. I have been teaching one of my new friends, Jeremiah, guitar. He has been practicing almost every day with a guitar that was donated by the team that was previously here.
I have also been teaching many of the staff and children typing and computer skills. Many of the staff have never used a computer before. I have been enjoying showing them pictures that I have on my laptop. When I am online, I will be able to show them the Google Earth utility and show them around the world. I keep encouraging the children to dream big. It will be so much fun to show them other places that they have only thought of dreaming about before.
The girls were far much stronger than the boys. This is probably because the amount of work the girls do is simply amazing. I have been shocked many times as I have witnessed the quantity of tasks that are completed by the children before 7am. The kids get up at 5:45am every morning and do their chores before breakfast. This early wakeup call is sounded by the rooster who alerts us sleepy folks that it is time to get up for another great day. Of course I should mention that during summer break, the children usually stay up until about 11pm each night to do devotions. But they still have full energy and laughter each day.
I am really having fun getting to know these children. Many of them have been asking me to teach them something. I have been teaching one of my new friends, Jeremiah, guitar. He has been practicing almost every day with a guitar that was donated by the team that was previously here.
I have also been teaching many of the staff and children typing and computer skills. Many of the staff have never used a computer before. I have been enjoying showing them pictures that I have on my laptop. When I am online, I will be able to show them the Google Earth utility and show them around the world. I keep encouraging the children to dream big. It will be so much fun to show them other places that they have only thought of dreaming about before.
Thursday August 20th, 2009
As I write today I am enjoying watching just taking in the sights and sounds from around my room. It is an interesting mixture of Jonathan David Hessler, African voices streaming through the window and the encouraging of our pet gecko “Gerty” to eat all the flies on our wall just out of reach. I am resting after a long week of moving around the world. I’ll give a quick synopsis.
For those who still don’t know, I am no longer living in America (this should NOT be a surprise!). We are currently staying at Father’s Divine Love Ministries (FDLM) and working with David Zijjan. The ministry seeks to set orphans in families and to provide a place of safety for those who don’t have anywhere else to turn.
When we first landed, we were surprised by another team that was being hosted by Pastor David. The week that followed was an interesting one indeed. Rachelann and I were trying to figure out how to befriend the Africans (which wasn’t hard, they love us!) while at the same time trying to work with this new team we were intersecting with. During the days Rachelann would spend her time with the women in the kitchen, generating friendship through quality time. I spent much of my time working with the team to build a house off site for a mother and her two children. Downtime was often spent hanging out with the 59 children on the base. Friendships among the children were instant. The first question those who could speak English (and probably among those who didn’t) asked was, “how long until you leave?”. We had the joy of watching the thought settle into their minds when we told them we were committed to being here for a long time. So many teams come through and offer help is a good thing, however the children and staff also really need someone to hunker down and invest a significant length of time spent with them. We are hoping to offer that assistance through being the gift that we each are as well as through networking. Of course these realities are engulfed by the much bigger reality of God’s love and care for these amazing people.
So far we have had almost everything we have needed except internet. We are hoping to get that established soon. This blog entry is being written offline until it can be submitted online. Internet here requires an initial investment of about $200 for the wireless card that syncs with the cell phone stations. From there, we will be paying about $40/month for unlimited bandwidth use. I am excited to get this since it will be a good tool for so many things that will enable me to utilize my giftings most effectively here.
As I mentioned before, I spent a few days building a brick house with the team being hosted by David. It was some of the hardest and most rewarding work I have ever done. In addition to the team helping, several of the children came from the base and worked harder than some Americans I know (and without all the complaining!). We made concrete by hand (seven wheelbarrows of sand to one bag of cement). We used red clay bricks for the walls and metal sheeting for the roof. We poured a concrete floor with cement, medium sized rocks, and sand. Everyone worked hard. I am noticing that the children here work harder than most children back in America. Many worked barefoot and helped mix the concrete by hand. None of them complained and overall the attitude of the children and the team was joyful. It took us a few days to build the house but we finally finished it and it looks great! It is being given to a single mother and her two children.
Today I went to Kampala to retrieve three of our bags that were delayed. The team got dropped off at Entebbe International Airport at around 5:00am. I got to Kampala at about 5:30. The bus that dropped off the team wanted to go back to Jinja and not wait until 8:00 when KLM’s office opened. One of my new African friends, Noah, volunteered to stay with me. We hung out until 8:00 and then got the bags. Noah was a lot of fun to hang out with. He has such a sweet spirit about him. We took public transportation back and finally made it back to FDLM by 12:00.
At some point while in Kampala I realized that it was my birthday. Time passes much slower here in Africa where the pragmatic American drive is not present. Rachelann, who has spent much of her time in the kitchen with the ladies, worked to make a cake for me. I had never had a cake in Africa before. The cooks that we have are quite amazing and can cook almost anything. The food is great! When teams come, they pay for food which allows us to eat well for some time. When they leave, we revert back to beans, rice and poscho. However, Rachelann used some of our funds to buy ingredients for a cake and so we had a cake. All of the children gathered around and sang happy birthday to me. It was exciting. I even learned how to say “twenty seven” in Luganda: abiri mu musanvu.
As I write today I am enjoying watching just taking in the sights and sounds from around my room. It is an interesting mixture of Jonathan David Hessler, African voices streaming through the window and the encouraging of our pet gecko “Gerty” to eat all the flies on our wall just out of reach. I am resting after a long week of moving around the world. I’ll give a quick synopsis.
For those who still don’t know, I am no longer living in America (this should NOT be a surprise!). We are currently staying at Father’s Divine Love Ministries (FDLM) and working with David Zijjan. The ministry seeks to set orphans in families and to provide a place of safety for those who don’t have anywhere else to turn.
When we first landed, we were surprised by another team that was being hosted by Pastor David. The week that followed was an interesting one indeed. Rachelann and I were trying to figure out how to befriend the Africans (which wasn’t hard, they love us!) while at the same time trying to work with this new team we were intersecting with. During the days Rachelann would spend her time with the women in the kitchen, generating friendship through quality time. I spent much of my time working with the team to build a house off site for a mother and her two children. Downtime was often spent hanging out with the 59 children on the base. Friendships among the children were instant. The first question those who could speak English (and probably among those who didn’t) asked was, “how long until you leave?”. We had the joy of watching the thought settle into their minds when we told them we were committed to being here for a long time. So many teams come through and offer help is a good thing, however the children and staff also really need someone to hunker down and invest a significant length of time spent with them. We are hoping to offer that assistance through being the gift that we each are as well as through networking. Of course these realities are engulfed by the much bigger reality of God’s love and care for these amazing people.
So far we have had almost everything we have needed except internet. We are hoping to get that established soon. This blog entry is being written offline until it can be submitted online. Internet here requires an initial investment of about $200 for the wireless card that syncs with the cell phone stations. From there, we will be paying about $40/month for unlimited bandwidth use. I am excited to get this since it will be a good tool for so many things that will enable me to utilize my giftings most effectively here.
As I mentioned before, I spent a few days building a brick house with the team being hosted by David. It was some of the hardest and most rewarding work I have ever done. In addition to the team helping, several of the children came from the base and worked harder than some Americans I know (and without all the complaining!). We made concrete by hand (seven wheelbarrows of sand to one bag of cement). We used red clay bricks for the walls and metal sheeting for the roof. We poured a concrete floor with cement, medium sized rocks, and sand. Everyone worked hard. I am noticing that the children here work harder than most children back in America. Many worked barefoot and helped mix the concrete by hand. None of them complained and overall the attitude of the children and the team was joyful. It took us a few days to build the house but we finally finished it and it looks great! It is being given to a single mother and her two children.
Today I went to Kampala to retrieve three of our bags that were delayed. The team got dropped off at Entebbe International Airport at around 5:00am. I got to Kampala at about 5:30. The bus that dropped off the team wanted to go back to Jinja and not wait until 8:00 when KLM’s office opened. One of my new African friends, Noah, volunteered to stay with me. We hung out until 8:00 and then got the bags. Noah was a lot of fun to hang out with. He has such a sweet spirit about him. We took public transportation back and finally made it back to FDLM by 12:00.
At some point while in Kampala I realized that it was my birthday. Time passes much slower here in Africa where the pragmatic American drive is not present. Rachelann, who has spent much of her time in the kitchen with the ladies, worked to make a cake for me. I had never had a cake in Africa before. The cooks that we have are quite amazing and can cook almost anything. The food is great! When teams come, they pay for food which allows us to eat well for some time. When they leave, we revert back to beans, rice and poscho. However, Rachelann used some of our funds to buy ingredients for a cake and so we had a cake. All of the children gathered around and sang happy birthday to me. It was exciting. I even learned how to say “twenty seven” in Luganda: abiri mu musanvu.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Wrong choice?
I had a customer at work the other day tell me that I was wrong for going to help out in Africa and that I should help the children here in America first. Interesting thought. I didn't get an opportunity to discuss indepth his charge, but I did think about it a lot.
How rich do we need to get before we are willing to help others in need? Seriously. Does he not realize how many organizations are functioning at this very moment with the exact mission of helping our nation's underprivileged children? I did try to shoot back a quick and dignified response. I chose to compare the situation in Uganda to America. I pointed out how there were children in the land where we are going whose parents have been hacked to death by machetes in front of them. Leaving the oldest child to care for his younger siblings, most of which are too young to work and are extremely susceptible to disease. I mentioned that over HALF of the population of Uganda was age 15 and younger and had very few parents, let alone mentors, to help them grow up into their full potential.
He paused for a moment and then changed his thought on the matter by encouraging me to come back here to help the kids when I was finished with those in Africa. I smiled and he left. It seems odd to me that people who don't know me would immediately judge my motives as being poorly placed. This customer has not been the only person to say such things to me.
I did learn something however. I learned, again, not to judge people off the cuff. It is so easy to do and I do it all the time. In this example, I judged him right back and thought him to be ignorant and misinformed, thus elevating my pride and making me feel better about myself. But all that served to do was give me an overinflated ego. It would have been good to have actually entered into an intelligent conversation on the matter had time permitted.
So how did I end up responding? I prayed for both him and I that God would grant us both bigger hearts to love the children both in America and abroad whose needs are great. I still feel my heart pulling me to serve in Africa rather than, say, inner city Chicago. And this was the final conclusion that I rested on. That we all serve work together as a body each doing his or her own part, wherever each person's individual gifting is.
How rich do we need to get before we are willing to help others in need? Seriously. Does he not realize how many organizations are functioning at this very moment with the exact mission of helping our nation's underprivileged children? I did try to shoot back a quick and dignified response. I chose to compare the situation in Uganda to America. I pointed out how there were children in the land where we are going whose parents have been hacked to death by machetes in front of them. Leaving the oldest child to care for his younger siblings, most of which are too young to work and are extremely susceptible to disease. I mentioned that over HALF of the population of Uganda was age 15 and younger and had very few parents, let alone mentors, to help them grow up into their full potential.
He paused for a moment and then changed his thought on the matter by encouraging me to come back here to help the kids when I was finished with those in Africa. I smiled and he left. It seems odd to me that people who don't know me would immediately judge my motives as being poorly placed. This customer has not been the only person to say such things to me.
I did learn something however. I learned, again, not to judge people off the cuff. It is so easy to do and I do it all the time. In this example, I judged him right back and thought him to be ignorant and misinformed, thus elevating my pride and making me feel better about myself. But all that served to do was give me an overinflated ego. It would have been good to have actually entered into an intelligent conversation on the matter had time permitted.
So how did I end up responding? I prayed for both him and I that God would grant us both bigger hearts to love the children both in America and abroad whose needs are great. I still feel my heart pulling me to serve in Africa rather than, say, inner city Chicago. And this was the final conclusion that I rested on. That we all serve work together as a body each doing his or her own part, wherever each person's individual gifting is.
The Next Step
So today was the last day of my work. It still feels all too surreal - the closing of this chapter of my life and the beginning of the next. We still have so much to do. I am quite excited though. Just two weeks left before we jump of faith out from the safety of our homeland into the unknown.
What will it be like? How will you support yourself? Is it safe? Watch out for the cannibals! These comments and questions have been asked of me by my coworkers in these recent months. I have had many thoughts during the past few months. Thoughts. Reflections. So many thoughts.
I usually just smile and let them know that it isn't going to be as bad as they think. In fact, most often they have no clue since the most intelligent responses to my inquires of my friends has come from the lectern of National Geographic or Wildlife Hunter. When I explain that the temperature is relatively stable and that where we will be staying is actually SAFER than, say, inner city Milwaukee, the attitudes of my friends begin to change. "Take me with you" they say. Until I tell them that I am going to work with orphans and be a herald of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, then I get responses like, "I could never do that!" or "you are a noble man". As if I am any better than anyone else. No, I am just a man with a curious heart.
What is it that I am getting myself into? God only knows. What's my purpose? Well. I did mention that I was curious. I am curious to see how God will show up among the poor of the Earth. Jesus often speaks of how those who know Him the best are those who are lowly of heart and who have a childlike faith. He also says it is better to give than to receive and to seek the Kingdom of God over every other thing on this planet.
What is the Gospel of the Kingdom? To love your neighbor... to Love God whole heartedely. It is as simple and as complicated as that. What is worth toiling over on this planet? We can't take anything with us. Many NGO's and humanitarian organizations seem to be struggling to create a system of lasting peace where everyone feels valued and esteemed. What if I just love my neighbor? Does that make me great? What if I love my neighbor in Africa? I guess I am just trying to get as close to the heart of God as I can. And I see Him moving among the poor. My heart is drawn to Africa. Perhaps because of the simplicity of heart shared among the people. I can celebrate the reality of love openly and freely. The people have a desperate thirst to be loved. Not that I have all the answers, or even one answer for all that matter. But I can love.
I think this is what I have been thinking about most often. Not so much how will we support ourselves or how to be the most safe, but what does love look like when you have nothing. I have studied much from the University of Wisconsin about culture and international relations. What I have noticed however is that as my head has gotten bigger to accomodate the influx of knowledge, my heart seems to have gotten smaller. Not that I am not thankful for the education I have recieved, rather the information I have processed and synthesized seems to have lacked a vital personal element. Complicated ideas of science, religion and sociology mixed with international relations models have comprised much of my education. I have learned about belief systems such as realism, constructivism and liberlism. So many theories and ideas on how this world works. I studied international law and have come to appreciate the difficulties of being a world leader in an anarchic world system. In the end, I have often wondered how this broad brushed sociological survey of the planet will help me actually love the individual right in front of me and create a satisfactory peace that is fought after but seldom realized.
Is there a simpler way? After all my studies I realized that among all the international relation models I studied, the Gospel of the Kingdom was not included in the lineup. Not surprising in a secular university where they do not endorse one "religion" over another. However I couldn't help but remember Jesus' words - "if your enemy is thirsty, give him a drink. If he is hungry, give him something to eat". His words seem so far removed from our current realities of self-focus and self-glorification. Love our enemy? Timeless revolutionary words. What if we did that? What if instead of judging my neighbor I loved him? Even the neighbor I don't like very much. Perhaps then I might be able to embrace a form of living that breathes life into others. What if this was normal instead of revolutionary? Perhaps the love of most wouldn't be growing so cold in our day. Perhaps people would believe more easily in the love of God since His followers would actually be encouraging hurting people rather than judging and condeming them.
So many thoughts garbled together. :) Thanks for reading. This was more of a vomit session for me to get my thoughts out.
I am excited to be going to Africa. And I am excited to be able to offer a cup of water to a person in need. My goal is to be a dispensor of love and grace as well as a sign to the source all love, passion and life, Jesus Christ.
What will it be like? How will you support yourself? Is it safe? Watch out for the cannibals! These comments and questions have been asked of me by my coworkers in these recent months. I have had many thoughts during the past few months. Thoughts. Reflections. So many thoughts.
I usually just smile and let them know that it isn't going to be as bad as they think. In fact, most often they have no clue since the most intelligent responses to my inquires of my friends has come from the lectern of National Geographic or Wildlife Hunter. When I explain that the temperature is relatively stable and that where we will be staying is actually SAFER than, say, inner city Milwaukee, the attitudes of my friends begin to change. "Take me with you" they say. Until I tell them that I am going to work with orphans and be a herald of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, then I get responses like, "I could never do that!" or "you are a noble man". As if I am any better than anyone else. No, I am just a man with a curious heart.
What is it that I am getting myself into? God only knows. What's my purpose? Well. I did mention that I was curious. I am curious to see how God will show up among the poor of the Earth. Jesus often speaks of how those who know Him the best are those who are lowly of heart and who have a childlike faith. He also says it is better to give than to receive and to seek the Kingdom of God over every other thing on this planet.
What is the Gospel of the Kingdom? To love your neighbor... to Love God whole heartedely. It is as simple and as complicated as that. What is worth toiling over on this planet? We can't take anything with us. Many NGO's and humanitarian organizations seem to be struggling to create a system of lasting peace where everyone feels valued and esteemed. What if I just love my neighbor? Does that make me great? What if I love my neighbor in Africa? I guess I am just trying to get as close to the heart of God as I can. And I see Him moving among the poor. My heart is drawn to Africa. Perhaps because of the simplicity of heart shared among the people. I can celebrate the reality of love openly and freely. The people have a desperate thirst to be loved. Not that I have all the answers, or even one answer for all that matter. But I can love.
I think this is what I have been thinking about most often. Not so much how will we support ourselves or how to be the most safe, but what does love look like when you have nothing. I have studied much from the University of Wisconsin about culture and international relations. What I have noticed however is that as my head has gotten bigger to accomodate the influx of knowledge, my heart seems to have gotten smaller. Not that I am not thankful for the education I have recieved, rather the information I have processed and synthesized seems to have lacked a vital personal element. Complicated ideas of science, religion and sociology mixed with international relations models have comprised much of my education. I have learned about belief systems such as realism, constructivism and liberlism. So many theories and ideas on how this world works. I studied international law and have come to appreciate the difficulties of being a world leader in an anarchic world system. In the end, I have often wondered how this broad brushed sociological survey of the planet will help me actually love the individual right in front of me and create a satisfactory peace that is fought after but seldom realized.
Is there a simpler way? After all my studies I realized that among all the international relation models I studied, the Gospel of the Kingdom was not included in the lineup. Not surprising in a secular university where they do not endorse one "religion" over another. However I couldn't help but remember Jesus' words - "if your enemy is thirsty, give him a drink. If he is hungry, give him something to eat". His words seem so far removed from our current realities of self-focus and self-glorification. Love our enemy? Timeless revolutionary words. What if we did that? What if instead of judging my neighbor I loved him? Even the neighbor I don't like very much. Perhaps then I might be able to embrace a form of living that breathes life into others. What if this was normal instead of revolutionary? Perhaps the love of most wouldn't be growing so cold in our day. Perhaps people would believe more easily in the love of God since His followers would actually be encouraging hurting people rather than judging and condeming them.
So many thoughts garbled together. :) Thanks for reading. This was more of a vomit session for me to get my thoughts out.
I am excited to be going to Africa. And I am excited to be able to offer a cup of water to a person in need. My goal is to be a dispensor of love and grace as well as a sign to the source all love, passion and life, Jesus Christ.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
too much mind
I can't sleep! Moving to a different country. Giving it all away! 2 suit cases each. LOL.
Can I bring my kitchen with me? So many things we don't know. I like that. It lets me over plan
and then repent for control freaking. I'm such a freak. All I really have to offer is love anyway.
even if my rolling pin doesn't make it . Or my wisk will i really need a wisk lol! Im gonna go to bed
TOO MUCH MIND!
Can I bring my kitchen with me? So many things we don't know. I like that. It lets me over plan
and then repent for control freaking. I'm such a freak. All I really have to offer is love anyway.
even if my rolling pin doesn't make it . Or my wisk will i really need a wisk lol! Im gonna go to bed
TOO MUCH MIND!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Taking off the old and wearing the new
I have been living a new life wearing the same old clothes. To be more specific I know I am free from needing my body weight to protect me. I just got so used to and comfortable wearing it I am still here in the same comfort with new freedom. So it is time for me to get off needing to protect myself and to allow the healing God has done in me to manifest.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Learning to Live - Part 1
What the heck? I mean - seriously. He has a problem. My cynacism surprises me, but seriously, I need to have a conversation with the boy.
The man I speak of is disregarding much of the advice of his friends and family and is taking a fantastic drive down to Kansas City to participate in an amazing training opportunity. The cost: $4,000. His current support: $0. His response: "God will provide." What is he thinking?
I talked with him today and tried to comprehend his reason with my rational mind. Short story: crash and burn. He spoke of what it looked like to just trust God fully and wholeheartedly. I figured it might work if God provided for Him when he got there and so I asked him to tell me how he planned on paying for his trip. He says, "I don't know, God will provide." Something in me does not like his response.
"Yeah...but...." I stutter. "God wants you to be responsible! and a good steward of the gifts He gave you!" I blurt out. You should be paying more attention to how you live your life! "Do you even know how much is in your bank account??"
"No" he replies, with a smile. "it just gives me a reason to be anxious if I check my account." "Is it really that hard to just trust God? I mean, He says that He is Provider right?"
I'm caught. What else can I say? My thoughts churn within me. Years of Bible training and study have prepared me for this conversation right? After all, I myself am ramping up for a "crazy" launch of me and my new family into a place where "God only knows....".
Silence. All that can be heard are the wind driven waves as they swirl and crash against the pier. I look into his eyes. Peace stares back. I choke. He smiles and speaks, "what about child like faith?" Something breaks inside of me and a soft Wind blows across the cooling embers of my heart. It's over. I'm done.
Childlike faith. I sure miss that. Living life to the max each day, completely oblivious to what would or could happen tomorrow - yet with an ever present expectancy of good things and of laughter. It is this very thing that shaped longing in my heart for Africa so many years ago as a child. It was me, God and the world - and God always had a good idea of what to do next. Mmmm. I remember those dreams like a soft and warm blanket. But today, after many years of long restless nights, the blanket is tattered. Its fabric is threadbare. And I feel cold inside.
Back to the conversation. I turn and I notice that I have shifted from trying to impart wisdom to trying to learn. The tables are turned. The teacher has become the student and the surrounding Creation has become the classroom.
"What if you run out of gas?" I ask. "Then i'll walk" he says. My heart beats faster. "What if you can't get into the school? I question. "Then I don't get into the school. It's that simple" he says. "And I don't want to be at my dull job forever". I smile as I become aware of my new heart posture and my attitude changes. My spirit resonates with what he is saying and remembers dreams of long ago. Dreams of following the God of the Universe anywhere regardless of what anyone else thinks or says. The Bible even says, "the meek shall inherit the Earth". At this moment I can't think of anyone meeker.
I realize that he has escaped "the system" and is free. He can go anywhere and do anything because God is with him and for him. He is free to follow the dreams of His heart, which is nothing less than the very face of God. I smile as I remember my own zeal and desire for seeking God, though it cost me everything. I can still hear the sweet still voice that whispers in my soul, encouraging me to continue, to press forward. His faith and joy have refreshed my spirit. I smile and laugh I realize that we are both men who long to be free. Free to live wholeheartedly. Free to love deeply and without reserve. Free to not have any regrets. Free from the system of man and all its wearying entanglements. And I realize the difference and why I am tired and he is not: he beat me to the trail!
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall.
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" (Isaiah 40:29-31).
Mukama Yebazebwe!
The man I speak of is disregarding much of the advice of his friends and family and is taking a fantastic drive down to Kansas City to participate in an amazing training opportunity. The cost: $4,000. His current support: $0. His response: "God will provide." What is he thinking?
I talked with him today and tried to comprehend his reason with my rational mind. Short story: crash and burn. He spoke of what it looked like to just trust God fully and wholeheartedly. I figured it might work if God provided for Him when he got there and so I asked him to tell me how he planned on paying for his trip. He says, "I don't know, God will provide." Something in me does not like his response.
"Yeah...but...." I stutter. "God wants you to be responsible! and a good steward of the gifts He gave you!" I blurt out. You should be paying more attention to how you live your life! "Do you even know how much is in your bank account??"
"No" he replies, with a smile. "it just gives me a reason to be anxious if I check my account." "Is it really that hard to just trust God? I mean, He says that He is Provider right?"
I'm caught. What else can I say? My thoughts churn within me. Years of Bible training and study have prepared me for this conversation right? After all, I myself am ramping up for a "crazy" launch of me and my new family into a place where "God only knows....".
Silence. All that can be heard are the wind driven waves as they swirl and crash against the pier. I look into his eyes. Peace stares back. I choke. He smiles and speaks, "what about child like faith?" Something breaks inside of me and a soft Wind blows across the cooling embers of my heart. It's over. I'm done.
Childlike faith. I sure miss that. Living life to the max each day, completely oblivious to what would or could happen tomorrow - yet with an ever present expectancy of good things and of laughter. It is this very thing that shaped longing in my heart for Africa so many years ago as a child. It was me, God and the world - and God always had a good idea of what to do next. Mmmm. I remember those dreams like a soft and warm blanket. But today, after many years of long restless nights, the blanket is tattered. Its fabric is threadbare. And I feel cold inside.
Back to the conversation. I turn and I notice that I have shifted from trying to impart wisdom to trying to learn. The tables are turned. The teacher has become the student and the surrounding Creation has become the classroom.
"What if you run out of gas?" I ask. "Then i'll walk" he says. My heart beats faster. "What if you can't get into the school? I question. "Then I don't get into the school. It's that simple" he says. "And I don't want to be at my dull job forever". I smile as I become aware of my new heart posture and my attitude changes. My spirit resonates with what he is saying and remembers dreams of long ago. Dreams of following the God of the Universe anywhere regardless of what anyone else thinks or says. The Bible even says, "the meek shall inherit the Earth". At this moment I can't think of anyone meeker.
I realize that he has escaped "the system" and is free. He can go anywhere and do anything because God is with him and for him. He is free to follow the dreams of His heart, which is nothing less than the very face of God. I smile as I remember my own zeal and desire for seeking God, though it cost me everything. I can still hear the sweet still voice that whispers in my soul, encouraging me to continue, to press forward. His faith and joy have refreshed my spirit. I smile and laugh I realize that we are both men who long to be free. Free to live wholeheartedly. Free to love deeply and without reserve. Free to not have any regrets. Free from the system of man and all its wearying entanglements. And I realize the difference and why I am tired and he is not: he beat me to the trail!
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall.
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" (Isaiah 40:29-31).
Mukama Yebazebwe!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
pain of a broken promise
When we make promises do we really know the weight? I think that 90% of promises are made for self gain.
If I make a promise I get... fill in the blank. In marriage for example a woman and a man promise to love and honor each other. Do they really know what they are saying? I have only been married for 11 months and I have learned in order for me to keep my promises in my relationship with my husband I have to be willing no matter what the cost to do just that.
I think Compromise is the thing people run into. They look into the other person's promise and if it is not lining up to their expectations they will disregard the promises they are responsible for.
It is a burning. Some people call it preferring one another in love. I call it burning. I find my self in a position of choosing myself so that I can be right or look good or I let it burn my flesh that is and choose to keep my promise of honoring and loving.
It's so cute (gag) the definition of February 14th - love. Be mine! Seriously If we are to really be honest with our selves do we know the weight of promise? Do we know the definition of Love?
I am staring into the eyes of a young woman who was promised love from her earthly father. The pain I see is pause worthy. A man who chose himself and his own satisfaction over his own children. How does a girl then grow up and look into a man's eyes at the altar and believe his promise to her. Or even how does a woman relate to her God? I choose the burning.
Men keep your promises and do not make them lightly. Know the weight of your actions and words. And daughters and sons, who's hearts have been left void, know this: our Heavenly Father died so that you would know what a real promise kept looks like. Men and women fail us but He never will. Let the pain of any broken promise remind you to keep your word even if it burns. Especially if it burns!
If I make a promise I get... fill in the blank. In marriage for example a woman and a man promise to love and honor each other. Do they really know what they are saying? I have only been married for 11 months and I have learned in order for me to keep my promises in my relationship with my husband I have to be willing no matter what the cost to do just that.
I think Compromise is the thing people run into. They look into the other person's promise and if it is not lining up to their expectations they will disregard the promises they are responsible for.
It is a burning. Some people call it preferring one another in love. I call it burning. I find my self in a position of choosing myself so that I can be right or look good or I let it burn my flesh that is and choose to keep my promise of honoring and loving.
It's so cute (gag) the definition of February 14th - love. Be mine! Seriously If we are to really be honest with our selves do we know the weight of promise? Do we know the definition of Love?
I am staring into the eyes of a young woman who was promised love from her earthly father. The pain I see is pause worthy. A man who chose himself and his own satisfaction over his own children. How does a girl then grow up and look into a man's eyes at the altar and believe his promise to her. Or even how does a woman relate to her God? I choose the burning.
Men keep your promises and do not make them lightly. Know the weight of your actions and words. And daughters and sons, who's hearts have been left void, know this: our Heavenly Father died so that you would know what a real promise kept looks like. Men and women fail us but He never will. Let the pain of any broken promise remind you to keep your word even if it burns. Especially if it burns!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Blogging
Seriously this is hard. I mean If I were writing in my journal I would just spill out my thoughts. Should I be that vulnerable here. I feel like I have to polish and collect my thoughts. So I'm just going to get off my fear and just write what I'm thinking and ask that anyone reading my thoughts would take care of them. I mean know that I am human and that I feel deeply. Not everything that I write will be thought through perfectly and that you are entering into my process and not the finished work. LOL listen to me I'm paranoid. Enjoy my process it will be messy that is a promise!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Cleaning house
(Ben) Today we cleaned out Javonta's room and one storage closet . Our room is next. It's amazing how much stuff he has (or had)! Oh well. It's all gotta go. We cleaned out the monsters from under the bed as well as all the hidden dust bunnies buried deep in the obscure reaches of his closet. Turning to our storage closet, I emptied out everything I could (also quite a bit).
We live in a three bedroom flat. It's amazing how much STUFF our family has accrued. A few of our friends have wondered at the logic behind the universal material purge of all our possessions. On the night Jesus sent His disciples into the neighborhood to carry the Gospel, He commanded them to travel as light as possible. Elsewhere, Jesus points out that seeking the Kingdom of God is not about amassing wealth, but rather seeking the presence, righteousness and peace of God in all circumstances. I haven't touched most of what we are giving away. Why do I really need to carry it around with me or store it up? The happiness and joy of life is not found in things, but in relationships with each other and with God. We can always get new things. And the peace that has come over us is pretty great. It has been fun simplifying our lives. We are only taking what we can carry on our backs.
I have been learning about extreme poverty and what is necessary to posses. Yesterday, one of our Facebook friends posted a link to a video that showed the plight of many Ugandan children. Most have nothing except the shirt on their back (if that). It amazed me to see that simple shelter, a meal and love were by far the most longed for "things".
In Africa, our focus will turn to ministering fully to God and fully to people. It feels good to empty ourselves. Our prayer is that God will fill us with Himself and provide what we need. We have heard reports of how God has been providing. In Mozambique, we have heard of how God has been miraculously multiplying food. He has been healing the sick of malaria, cancer, aids as well as providing families for past orphans.
Our lives are so short. In the eons of eternity, our seventy year presence on this planet is like a drop in the ocean. What is worth living for? What is worth dying for? So many people live for themselves and to amass as much stuff as possible citing the age old philosophy, "he/she who dies with the most toys "wins"". But is this really the end of human acheivement? To get a lot of stuff or to experience as much as possible? To "eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die?"
What hope is there outside the hope of Jesus Christ? The Gospel is basicially this (1) Give and receive love to Jesus Christ as hard as you can (2) Give and receive love from people as hard as you can and (3) know that another life awaits us. A llife of joy, peace, unrivled excitement and happiness. No pain. The fulfillment of love.
That sounds good to me. There is too much pain and death on this planet. I am excited about the next life. It is what I live for. For what profit is it to gain the whole world, but forfeit the soul? As I press on in my real time relationship with God, I notice that He wants me to give all of myself to Him. I'm not saying owning things is bad, but i'll be honest, I have been kind of distracted with the "Rat Race" of the American lifestyle. You know, go to work that I don't like, to get money to spend on stuff that doesn't fully satisfy me anyway, repeat. It's never enough. We are always wanting more.... How many people who have "made it" are truely happy? Compared to much of the world, I have "made it" already. So, since I have "made it", is it that hard to lay it all down and run hard after God. Maybe I can run quickly and hard after God with all my stuff as well. Or perhaps not....
So my cleaning house isn't so much a response
We live in a three bedroom flat. It's amazing how much STUFF our family has accrued. A few of our friends have wondered at the logic behind the universal material purge of all our possessions. On the night Jesus sent His disciples into the neighborhood to carry the Gospel, He commanded them to travel as light as possible. Elsewhere, Jesus points out that seeking the Kingdom of God is not about amassing wealth, but rather seeking the presence, righteousness and peace of God in all circumstances. I haven't touched most of what we are giving away. Why do I really need to carry it around with me or store it up? The happiness and joy of life is not found in things, but in relationships with each other and with God. We can always get new things. And the peace that has come over us is pretty great. It has been fun simplifying our lives. We are only taking what we can carry on our backs.
I have been learning about extreme poverty and what is necessary to posses. Yesterday, one of our Facebook friends posted a link to a video that showed the plight of many Ugandan children. Most have nothing except the shirt on their back (if that). It amazed me to see that simple shelter, a meal and love were by far the most longed for "things".
In Africa, our focus will turn to ministering fully to God and fully to people. It feels good to empty ourselves. Our prayer is that God will fill us with Himself and provide what we need. We have heard reports of how God has been providing. In Mozambique, we have heard of how God has been miraculously multiplying food. He has been healing the sick of malaria, cancer, aids as well as providing families for past orphans.
Our lives are so short. In the eons of eternity, our seventy year presence on this planet is like a drop in the ocean. What is worth living for? What is worth dying for? So many people live for themselves and to amass as much stuff as possible citing the age old philosophy, "he/she who dies with the most toys "wins"". But is this really the end of human acheivement? To get a lot of stuff or to experience as much as possible? To "eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die?"
What hope is there outside the hope of Jesus Christ? The Gospel is basicially this (1) Give and receive love to Jesus Christ as hard as you can (2) Give and receive love from people as hard as you can and (3) know that another life awaits us. A llife of joy, peace, unrivled excitement and happiness. No pain. The fulfillment of love.
That sounds good to me. There is too much pain and death on this planet. I am excited about the next life. It is what I live for. For what profit is it to gain the whole world, but forfeit the soul? As I press on in my real time relationship with God, I notice that He wants me to give all of myself to Him. I'm not saying owning things is bad, but i'll be honest, I have been kind of distracted with the "Rat Race" of the American lifestyle. You know, go to work that I don't like, to get money to spend on stuff that doesn't fully satisfy me anyway, repeat. It's never enough. We are always wanting more.... How many people who have "made it" are truely happy? Compared to much of the world, I have "made it" already. So, since I have "made it", is it that hard to lay it all down and run hard after God. Maybe I can run quickly and hard after God with all my stuff as well. Or perhaps not....
So my cleaning house isn't so much a response
Friday, June 12, 2009
Even if we can't feel it or see it
He is good even if our vision is clouded. Even if our circumstances say He has abandoned us. Everyone wants to have that experience with God. God is not an experience He is a relationship. He is in everything with us. He is for us not against us. Thanks be to God!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Adopted!
(Rachelann) We finally purchased our tickets so we are leaving on August 10th 2009. God has been making it so clear to me His want to provide. He is teaching me to act as though I am adopted. I have been acting like an orphan. Like maybe He will say yes maybe He will give us a nation. His Kingdom is upside down. He is asking us to eat at the banquet now. What are we waiting for? I am starting to realize that we are living in Eternity and that my in inheritance starts now. I AM ADOPTED!!!!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Testing Testing....
I just set up textblogging from my mobile phone. It totally works. Cool! Now I can text from anywhere in the world and update my blog! How cool is that?!
Just for reference -
(Ben): Much of the training Rachelann and I have been giving ourselves to in this season of life comes from Heidi and Rolland Baker. They started a ministry 20 years or so ago in Mozambique to test the Sermon on the Mount. They had just graduated seminary and realized that if the Sermon on the Mount wasn't true (feed the hungry, turn the other cheek, love the unlovable...), there was not point in trying to honor the rest of what God said in His word. Since then God has been showing up with signs and wonders. He has been multiplying food just like He fed the 5,000. He has raised the dead, healed blind people and many other things. I read their account and realize that they are doing things in a unique way with God. I figure if I am going to follow my heart to go love people, then maybe my own agenda isn't going to work. So I have been listening and processing their experiences and have been greatly encouraged.
So the purpose of these post was to provide that information if anyone is interested in researching it. They have a training school each year and we are going to apply to go. We have some friends who have recently come back from doing this training school and they were extremely encouraged in their faith by both what they saw and also how they grew in their relationship with God.
So it's pretty great. It makes me realize just how amazing God is. I have often wondered "why not here God?" While He has been doing things here in the West, they don't seem to be as widespread as what I am hearing of what is going on in Africa, China and other countries.
I have been listening to their teachings online at:
http://www.fathersglory.com/insp/Roland_&_Heidi_Baker.htm.
Their ministry website is:
http://www.irismin.org/p/home.php.
It has been interesting hearing their stories and lessons learned. As I listen through the messages, I get a sense of lessons learned through life experience, successes and failures. This is quite different than the seminary model of learning or the university model of learning (though I definitely enjoy these models in part!).
But more importantly, I feel like I am finally started to make some sense of what it really looks like to live fully for God while at the same time not becoming some legalistic Bible thumper. So check it out. I have been blessed by the content and the simplicity of the messages. Rolland is the logical type whereas Heidi is more free spirited and kinda "out there". Just so you know, if you listen, they both believe in speaking in tongues as a way of communicating with God. So if this offends you, open your mind and heart and see what might come of it.
So the purpose of these post was to provide that information if anyone is interested in researching it. They have a training school each year and we are going to apply to go. We have some friends who have recently come back from doing this training school and they were extremely encouraged in their faith by both what they saw and also how they grew in their relationship with God.
So it's pretty great. It makes me realize just how amazing God is. I have often wondered "why not here God?" While He has been doing things here in the West, they don't seem to be as widespread as what I am hearing of what is going on in Africa, China and other countries.
I have been listening to their teachings online at:
http://www.fathersglory.com/insp/Roland_&_Heidi_Baker.htm.
Their ministry website is:
http://www.irismin.org/p/home.php.
It has been interesting hearing their stories and lessons learned. As I listen through the messages, I get a sense of lessons learned through life experience, successes and failures. This is quite different than the seminary model of learning or the university model of learning (though I definitely enjoy these models in part!).
But more importantly, I feel like I am finally started to make some sense of what it really looks like to live fully for God while at the same time not becoming some legalistic Bible thumper. So check it out. I have been blessed by the content and the simplicity of the messages. Rolland is the logical type whereas Heidi is more free spirited and kinda "out there". Just so you know, if you listen, they both believe in speaking in tongues as a way of communicating with God. So if this offends you, open your mind and heart and see what might come of it.
We walk by faith not by sight....
(Ben): Wow. This is the first main post of many to come. Rachelann and I will be posting all sorts of things here. Thoughts, hopes, fears, events, prayers, requests.... So read along if you like.
There is so much going on that it is hard to quantify it all. Right now we are about 3 months out. We sorting through ticket prices and the weight of what we are embarking on is beginning to overtake me. We have been working hard to make things happen. After much prayer, both Rachelann and I keep getting reminded that simple trust is what God wants from us. As it stands right now we have been trying very hard to relax knowing that we don't currently have enough in our bank account to cover all the expenditures coming our way. Interestingly, thus far, this has not seemed to be a problem for God.
For example: we had been praying for months for a place to stay. As we compiled a rough budget we both realized that our living expenses in Africa rivaled, if not exceeded, our living expenses here in the States. I did not like this. I have been noticing my urge to control things more so as of late. I like having financial provision buffered by a nice sized savings account for all of those "just in case" scenarios. God has been dealing with me about this, reminding me that He really is calling us and He really is committed to providing our every need. So what happened? A few weeks after intense conversations with our friends over housing costs we felt led to contact a different friend in Uganda. As it turns out, this other friend of ours graciously extended an open invitation for Rachelann, Javonta and I to stay with him at his orphanage. Our lodging and meals are now taken care of and the cost is no problem! Go God!
There is so much going on that it is hard to quantify it all. Right now we are about 3 months out. We sorting through ticket prices and the weight of what we are embarking on is beginning to overtake me. We have been working hard to make things happen. After much prayer, both Rachelann and I keep getting reminded that simple trust is what God wants from us. As it stands right now we have been trying very hard to relax knowing that we don't currently have enough in our bank account to cover all the expenditures coming our way. Interestingly, thus far, this has not seemed to be a problem for God.
For example: we had been praying for months for a place to stay. As we compiled a rough budget we both realized that our living expenses in Africa rivaled, if not exceeded, our living expenses here in the States. I did not like this. I have been noticing my urge to control things more so as of late. I like having financial provision buffered by a nice sized savings account for all of those "just in case" scenarios. God has been dealing with me about this, reminding me that He really is calling us and He really is committed to providing our every need. So what happened? A few weeks after intense conversations with our friends over housing costs we felt led to contact a different friend in Uganda. As it turns out, this other friend of ours graciously extended an open invitation for Rachelann, Javonta and I to stay with him at his orphanage. Our lodging and meals are now taken care of and the cost is no problem! Go God!
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