The Next Step

So today was the last day of my work. It still feels all too surreal - the closing of this chapter of my life and the beginning of the next. We still have so much to do. I am quite excited though. Just two weeks left before we jump of faith out from the safety of our homeland into the unknown.

What will it be like? How will you support yourself? Is it safe? Watch out for the cannibals! These comments and questions have been asked of me by my coworkers in these recent months. I have had many thoughts during the past few months. Thoughts. Reflections. So many thoughts.

I usually just smile and let them know that it isn't going to be as bad as they think. In fact, most often they have no clue since the most intelligent responses to my inquires of my friends has come from the lectern of National Geographic or Wildlife Hunter. When I explain that the temperature is relatively stable and that where we will be staying is actually SAFER than, say, inner city Milwaukee, the attitudes of my friends begin to change. "Take me with you" they say. Until I tell them that I am going to work with orphans and be a herald of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, then I get responses like, "I could never do that!" or "you are a noble man". As if I am any better than anyone else. No, I am just a man with a curious heart.

What is it that I am getting myself into? God only knows. What's my purpose? Well. I did mention that I was curious. I am curious to see how God will show up among the poor of the Earth. Jesus often speaks of how those who know Him the best are those who are lowly of heart and who have a childlike faith. He also says it is better to give than to receive and to seek the Kingdom of God over every other thing on this planet.

What is the Gospel of the Kingdom? To love your neighbor... to Love God whole heartedely. It is as simple and as complicated as that. What is worth toiling over on this planet? We can't take anything with us. Many NGO's and humanitarian organizations seem to be struggling to create a system of lasting peace where everyone feels valued and esteemed. What if I just love my neighbor? Does that make me great? What if I love my neighbor in Africa? I guess I am just trying to get as close to the heart of God as I can. And I see Him moving among the poor. My heart is drawn to Africa. Perhaps because of the simplicity of heart shared among the people. I can celebrate the reality of love openly and freely. The people have a desperate thirst to be loved. Not that I have all the answers, or even one answer for all that matter. But I can love.

I think this is what I have been thinking about most often. Not so much how will we support ourselves or how to be the most safe, but what does love look like when you have nothing. I have studied much from the University of Wisconsin about culture and international relations. What I have noticed however is that as my head has gotten bigger to accomodate the influx of knowledge, my heart seems to have gotten smaller. Not that I am not thankful for the education I have recieved, rather the information I have processed and synthesized seems to have lacked a vital personal element. Complicated ideas of science, religion and sociology mixed with international relations models have comprised much of my education. I have learned about belief systems such as realism, constructivism and liberlism. So many theories and ideas on how this world works. I studied international law and have come to appreciate the difficulties of being a world leader in an anarchic world system. In the end, I have often wondered how this broad brushed sociological survey of the planet will help me actually love the individual right in front of me and create a satisfactory peace that is fought after but seldom realized.

Is there a simpler way? After all my studies I realized that among all the international relation models I studied, the Gospel of the Kingdom was not included in the lineup. Not surprising in a secular university where they do not endorse one "religion" over another. However I couldn't help but remember Jesus' words - "if your enemy is thirsty, give him a drink. If he is hungry, give him something to eat". His words seem so far removed from our current realities of self-focus and self-glorification. Love our enemy? Timeless revolutionary words. What if we did that? What if instead of judging my neighbor I loved him? Even the neighbor I don't like very much. Perhaps then I might be able to embrace a form of living that breathes life into others. What if this was normal instead of revolutionary? Perhaps the love of most wouldn't be growing so cold in our day. Perhaps people would believe more easily in the love of God since His followers would actually be encouraging hurting people rather than judging and condeming them.

So many thoughts garbled together. :) Thanks for reading. This was more of a vomit session for me to get my thoughts out.

I am excited to be going to Africa. And I am excited to be able to offer a cup of water to a person in need. My goal is to be a dispensor of love and grace as well as a sign to the source all love, passion and life, Jesus Christ.